I’m Kash Khan the founder of Educate Inspire Change. 2019 has been by far the most transformational year of my life. It’s so hard to put into words about the journey I have been on but I’m going to give it a shot in the hope that my words will resonate deeply with some of you and hopefully be the catalyst for you to find what you are looking for in your life.
Most people In today’s society are lost in some way or another and the reason for this is that we have forgotten who we are and why we are here. I recently made a video that touches on the topic and explains in detail how from birth we are literally brainwashed into being a certain way. Walls are built around us and most of us grow old and die never even questioning why these walls are around us and I’d even go as far as to say that most of us aren’t even aware of them.
It’s these walls that stop us from seeing the truth. The truth of who we are and why we are here.
To give you a little backstory about me around 10 years ago I was in a very dark place. I felt lost and broken, I had no real sense of direction in life and I manifested an unhealthy relationship that resulted in a child being born. When my oldest son Kaian was born it gave me hope and the desire to be a better man but the child’s mother unfortunately had other ideas and I was prevented from taking part in his life which as you can imagine led me further into depression and I turned to drink, drugs and gambling as a way to try and fill the void in my life. But knowing I had a son out there did light a little flame inside of me, and I remember the first day I was allowed to see him almost 3 years later in a controlled environment under supervision , it turned that flame into a raging fire. I started to look at myself not through my own eyes but through the eyes of this beautiful boy I could call my son. I knew that I was not going to see him often and that it was going to be a long struggle. I knew that he wouldn’t be able to get to know me the way a son should know his father so when I went home that evening I opened my laptop and started to think about ways I could express myself that would benefit my son, that would let him one day know who his father is and what he stands for. So I created a page on Facebook, I came up with 3 words that had a deep meaning for me ; Educate Inspire Change , Educate yourself, Inspire others , Change the world. These words gave me purpose , and over the months and years I found that by trying to share information to help educate and inspire others I was in-fact educating and inspiring myself. Over time my page grew arms and legs of it’s own and I am so blessed to say that now almost 7 years later I have built an established business that has a community of well over 3 million people. I have changed so much in those years that I barely recognise the old me, through EIC I have been blessed to be able to attract good people and amazing experiences. I am now the proud father of 3 sons, I still don’t get to see my first born very often but we have a bond and it will always grow. I also have 2 beautiful sons Kassius(4) and Gabriel(3) and I can honestly say that because I work very often from home I have been able to spend almost every day of their lives with them and their beautiful mother, and that is such a blessing.
A big part of my journey has been about self exploration and looking within. And I don’t believe it’s by chance that the good people at Rythmia (The world’s first medically licensed plant medicine retreat) emailed me inviting me to visit their beautiful retreat. I had been exploring the idea of DMT , Ayahuasca, Mushrooms and other psychedelics and their amazing healing properties for some time so It was as if the universe was calling me and telling me that I was ready for the next chapter in my life. I at this point had never taken a psychedelic in my life so I literally had no idea what to expect.
Here is a short video of me talking about my Ayahuasca journey and then I will write in more detail below about each night of my journey and where I am now.
So after doing an Ayhuasca dieta making sure my body and mind was prepared to ingest this concentrated drop of nature, I was finally ready to start my journey. It was on March 11th , a Monday night that I took part in my first Ayahuasca ceremony.
Now as I’m sitting here writing this I realise I could probably write an entire book to try and explain just one night on this amazing medicine but I want to just break down the different nights as briefly as I can. This should help to give you some perspective on the journey as a whole and help you to understand how It has progressively helped me to get where I am today.
Night 1 (Cups of Ayahuasca drank- 2):
It took some time to kick in and I was naturally nervous but I started to get some very strong visuals early on that took my breath away. I spent a long time outside staring at the stars and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. It was like looking at the greatest painting of all time on the biggest canvas of all time, I was in complete awe at the beauty of everything. The sky, the grass, everything in nature and especially the geometric shapes that connect everything.
I also spent a good part of my night worrying about others around me and trying help people who were struggling but as nice as my intentions were I realised that I was on a journey to heal myself and that I should let others heal themselves too.
I kept repeating these three intentions ; ‘Show me who I have become’, ‘Merge me back with my soul at all costs’ and ‘Heal my heart’.
At one point I did get lost in what felt like another dimension surrounded by very alien like beings, it’s super hard to explain but the best word to describe it is ‘alien’ meaning nothing that us humans are used to at all. It was scary and it felt like time didn’t exist in this realm. I didn’t know how to surrender properly but eventually I was able to purge(vomit). I purged very hard, it felt so surreal and I remember staring into that bucket and the stuff I saw in there was crazy.
I remember feeling so grateful for my experience, I cried a fair amount and was overwhelmed with emotions. This was night 1 and I felt like I had been on this journey for much longer.
Lessons learnt from night 1:
- Learn to surrender.
- Out of chaos comes order.
- To look after myself first.
Night 2(Cups of Ayahuasca drank- 2):
If I had to choose one word to describe this night it would be ‘Beautiful’. The two female shamans that led this night really brought a mystical magical energy to the ceremony.
I experienced cosmic surgery for the first time. This is when you see and feel the presence of other beings in and on your body. I felt them mainly in my mouth. Apparently this is where all the information and trauma is stored from childhood and even past lives. It was super intense and I even had a joke with the ‘aliens’ that were performing surgery on me. You can actually interact with these amazing intelligent beings. It sounds crazy but I’m just describing what I experienced.
This night was all about beautiful visuals, being able to surrender and trust the medicine and I really felt so full of love and joy on this night. I had no bad experiences and was just in a state of pure bliss and gratitude the whole night. It’s up there as one of the most if not the most spectacular night of my life.
Lessons learnt from night 2:
- Trust the medicine and surrender.
- Joy and Gratitude.
- My power animal is the black panther. I kept seeing panthers in the stars.
Night 3(Cups of Ayahuasca drank- 2):
On this night my intentions changed a bit. I asked Mother Ayahuasca to help me to communicate better so that I can share my message with confidence and passion. As well as this I continued to ask for my heart to be healed and to be merged back with my soul.
I went seriously deep. I felt like I got stuck in a never ending loop. I was trapped in another dimension and I lost all ability to think for myself, I was still aware, in-fact I became awareness. I kept forgetting who I was, I couldn’t differentiate between reality and where I was. It was very scary and at times I would panic because I would remember that I had children but then would realise that if that my reality was no longer reality then I started to question whether or not they even existed. It was as if Ayahuasca was reminding me that I am not just a human experiencing life, I am more than that and it kept reminding me that I am part of everything and not just a person on this planet. I am an eternal soul on a much bigger journey.
I did purge and got rid of whatever was wanting to get out but overall this night left me feeling a bit lost and confused. However , the next day I felt reborn and as the day progressed I started to feel better and better. I realised that I was starting to speak from my heart and not my head. I found confidence in myself, I found my voice.
This journey is hard work. The ceremonies can be super hard but if your intentions are strong and your conviction even stronger then I have no doubt that you will heal. I also spent some time at the fire. I was told that fire is a spirit , and that if we speak to the fire, tell it our name, our mothers name, our fathers name and then ask it to take away whatever it is that is not serving us such as addictions and bad habits or anything else that you want rid of that it will help you to do that providing your intentions are pure.
Lessons learnt from night 3:
- I am more than just this body.
- I have a voice.
- To live and speak from the heart.
Night 4(Cups of Ayahuasca drank- 2):
The medicine on this night is a strong purgative so for me the visuals are almost non existent but the physical side is very strong. I went to the toilet a few times and got rid of a lot of toxins I had accumulated over the years.
I did enjoy looking at the stars and feeling like my ancestors were acknowledging my healing. I’ll always remember the head shaman Mitra telling me that when I heal , I am not only healing myself, I am healing my ancestors and also healing future generations. The cycle of abuse of pain felt in my family ends with me. I remember crying with this thought in my mind whilst looking up at the stars. But, after not very long I felt very tired and Ayahuasca put me to sleep.
When I woke it was morning and the sun was shining and people were dancing. It was later told to me that sometimes Ayahuasca wants to perform cosmic surgery that is so heavy it needs to put you to sleep. I also felt like Ayahuasca was giving me a rest after being through a lot the previous 3 nights. At the end of the night I sat in a healing circle where all the shamans simultaneously perform a healing on you. It’s a super powerful experience and it brought a lot of us to tears that night.
Lessons learnt from night 4:
- To rest and take care of my body
I remember going home after this incredible healing journey and struggling to integrate back to ‘normal life’. It’s important to remember that Ayahuasca shows you what you need to see but the real work is down to you. I started to make changes in my daily routine, I would eat better, pay attention to my breath more, I would spend more time with my loved ones. I would speak more freely and from the heart. I would handle confrontation better. Overall I was just a happier person and I could see that my healing was radiating onto others around me. My girlfriend, my kids , my mother and other family would all seem to feed off my energy. I was able to forgive people that I couldn’t previously forgive and I was able to ask for forgiveness and really mean it. So many broken relationships were being mended and new doors started to open.
I was living in totally gratitude and taking nothing for granted. I now know there is more to life, I saw it with my own eyes and felt it deep in my heart. I was reconnected to my soul.
During my first stay at Rythmia I was also filming my stay and here is the trailer of that documentary that will be released soon.
So fast forward to June just 3 months after my first journey and I was ready to go again. This time I wanted to go deeper and I also felt like I still had lots of healing and purging to do as I could still feel myself sometimes getting precariously close to falling into old bad habits.
This time round I went with my friend James English. It was nice to have someone to travel with and to share the journey with.
So my intentions this time round were similar to those on my first visit ; Heal my heart, Merge me with my soul and show me who I have become but I also asked Mother Ayahuasca to show me my purpose and to raise my consciousness so that I can experience more and go deeper.
Night 1 (2nd Visit)(Cups of Ayahuasca drank- 2)
I wanted to go deeper this time round and the first night took me to a place I had never been before. I felt like I was transcending to somewhere that felt heaven like… I could feel the presence and love of all my Grandparents that had passed. They just kept sending me so much love , I’ve never felt anything like it but I think about it often. I also felt the presence of an unborn child, my first girlfriend had an abortion, we were both young and I believe the spirit of that child visited me and I set him free, I told him that he was free to go his own way. Apparently it is common for spirits especially children to hang around their parents as they are often confused and don’t know where to go so I really felt this interaction helped me to deal with what we had done and also to let our child be free in the spirit world so that he can continue his journey.
I noticed that I was able to surrender more and breathe through it. Whenever I felt like purging instead of resisting I just tried to breathe and this really helped me to hold my space and purge. I was sick at least twice and I must have went to the toilet at least four times. I purged a lot. Tonight was hard work but so so rewarding. I felt like I had so many good spirits around me and visiting me the entire night. I felt so connected and everything felt really familiar. It was as if I was going home… I didn’t want it to end.
Lessons learnt from night 1 (2nd Visit)
- To accept love
- I am enough
- We are part of something much greater
Night 2 (2nd Visit)(Cups of Ayahuasca drank- 2)
Okay of all the nights I have had on the medicine I really went deepest on this night. I try to remember the visuals but its impossible to describe them, they were breathaking, I saw other worldly beings, I felt like I was inside some kind of spaceship at one point. I try to think back but its just so hard to put into words what I saw and felt. I kept asking to go higher, I wanted to raise my consciousness so that I could get closer to God/Source or whatever you want to call it. I remember being on my knees looking upwards and felt like I was transcending…. every time I got a little higher I had to purge… I had to get rid of whatever was holding me down. I’ve forgotten how much I purged but it was a lot. One of the shamans told me he had a vision of me being a leader and noted that I was holding space for others in my part of the room. As I continued to go higher and become more transcendent the visuals became more and more stunning… until eventually I looked up and I saw a giant wall but only parts of it were revealed to me, an illuminous light was shining on it and I could make out some ancient religious symbols like The Hindu Ganesh, The Bhudda symbol and other shapes and symbols that I cant recollect but then as I looked up beyond the wall I saw a giant head and it was myself looking back at me. But it was an amazing illuminous version of me… I feel like I came into contact with my higher self. I was in complete awe and the next thing I remember I was being carried out the room by 3 people. I don’t know what I was doing but they felt like I needed space and air. I really transcended and it was an overwhelming experience for me.
After having an experience like that how could I ever think that I am not enough? How could I not love myself?
Then to top it all all off later in the night my friend Nadja who was next to me and having a super intense journey of her own kept looking at me and saying over and over ”Me and you, you and me, nobody else, we are going to change the world!” …. we were saying this back and forth to each other for quite some time during this night. It was such a beautiful night in ever sense of the word.
The next morning at breakfast Nadja took me to one side and told me she was sorry if she was disturbing my journey but that she couldn’t help it because she was channelling Mother Ayahuasca. On this night one of my big intentions was ‘to show me my purpose’. Well I got the message loud and clear. Nadja had no idea that I owned a site called Educate Inspire Change (Educate yourself, inspire others, change the world) …when I told her it blew her mind and ever since I have been so focused on my path to change the world. It’s the reason I am making more article like this one an creating move original video content. I finally found my voice and know my purpose. I am so grateful to Mother Ayahuasca for showing me the way. Now its up to me to do the work…
Lessons learnt from night 2 (2nd Visit)
- I am love
- We are all one
- We are all love
- My purpose is to help change the world
Night 3 (Visit 2) (Cups of Ayahuasca drank- 3)
So this night brought me back down to earth with a bang. The previous night I was all transcendent and having beautiful experiences and this night was very very different. A night full of confusion, lots of purging, lots of fear, lots of going to the toilet, being sick, losing my mind, losing my clothes, i even ended up back in my room at one point accompanied by someone and had a shower. It was an insane ride. I felt like I was losing my mind.
So looking back on this night I am able to piece together what happened and why it happened. But during the night and soon after I literally had no idea what was going on. So I went to the toilet several times and on one of the occasions I was puking and pooping at the same time (fun) and at the same time I had some very strong visuals but they were much less pleasant, like seeing snakes and animals and not knowing what was real and what wasn’t. I was just scared and overwhelmed… I even convinced myself that I pooped myself… when in fact I hadn’t. I was later told that this was a ‘spiritual purge’ where you think you’ve purged but you haven’t actually been sick or gone to the toilet. But I was so convinced that I got down to my underwear and then went with my shaman/friend back to my room just a few steps away so I could shower and return to the ceremony.
I later spoke with a shaman about why I felt how I did and he explained it perfectly to me. I spiritually purged and then I had to shed my skin like a snake does.. which was me taking my clothes off and then I had to shower to cleanse myself. So i went from feeling dirty and ashamed to completely clean and fresh. So what I was purging was all the things from my past that I felt ashamed or guilty about… it was truly the strangest night of my life. I was lost but I’m just glad I found myself and cleansed myself spiritually.
It felt like this was Ayahuasca keeping my ego in check. Reminding me of my past and helping me to deal with it and get rid of all the negative emotion I was holding on to.
Lessons learnt from night 3 (2nd Visit)
- No more guilt, no more shame
- I’m clean and pure
- ego check
- be gentle with yourself
Night 4((Visit 2)Cups of Ayahuasca drank- 3):
So this is the longest of all the nights and is the night we drink a stronger brew that is more of a purgative. On my last visit I slept through this night and I knew that wouldn’t happen this time round. This time round I just enjoyed myself and made sure I enjoyed the music. Every night is full of amazing music and I danced a little on all nights but on this night I got lost in the music. I was up with the band and all over the temple and even outside just dancing. I felt like I had found myself and was just expressing myself how ever I could.
I did purge a lot in the toilet and I was sick a little towards the end but overall my memory of this night is just being able to feel free and confident and to be able to express myself. As a child I was often scorned for dancing or expressing myself and so this was like me releasing all of that and just being myself and being free.
Lessons learnt from night 4 (2nd Visit)
- Dance more
- Be Free
- Express Yourself
- I am a leader
What I learnt from my Ayahuasca Journeys
We are not humans having a temporary experience. We are much bigger than that, we are souls on an epic journey, the most epic of all journeys. We all come from one of the elements, wind, fire, earth, water and then as we progress through this soul journey we become something else…. Maybe a rock and when we get good at that we become a plant, then perhaps an animal, and once we get good at that we come as a human, and as we evolve each time learning more and growing more we get to a stage where are ready to go higher and enter into the spirit world. Many of us who are doing Ayahuasca have one foot in this physical world and one foot in the next spiritual world. We are literally transcending, we are becoming more than bodies and we are remembering what we actually are. Before we started off as that flame, or drop of water we came from source, something so great and we are on our way back there.
But as a collective humans have forgotten who we are, and that’s why society and our planet is sick. How do I say we are sick? Just look around… signs of a sick planet and society are everywhere you look…. Drug problems, diet problems, environmental problems, prisons full to the brim, people killing eachother all around the world, people abusing animals everywhere you look.
This is why I feel so strongly about plant medicine. The plants are here to teach us what we have forgot. They are here to help us transcend by helping us to heal ourselves and heal the planet.
And we all need plant medicine or at least we need to get to where we’re supposed to go by practising mindfulness. It doesn’t matter how we get there but if enough of us heal on plant medicine then for sure we will be able to heal so many more around us. Even those of us who maybe haven’t had a traumatic childhood or suffer from issues still need healing of some kind. We all have ancestors who have suffered deeply and this suffering carries on through the generations. As a race we are still evolving and are always in need to heal so we can transcend. In modern day reality we all have probably experienced some of kind of trauma of our own that comes from our parents and their parents and so on. When you do plant medicine you break that chain of pain and abuse. It ends with you.
If you are considering doing Ayahuasca for the first time and if you can afford it I would highly recommend you take it in a very controlled environment under the guidance of experienced shamans. For me personally Rythmia is by far the best place anyone could go for their first time as it is an entire week full of classes, good food, yoga, meditation, support and more. It’s not just about the plant medicine. It’s an entire week dedicated to your healing. And you will make friends and family for life when you go. Trust me. I feel like I have 100+ new family members and all thanks to my time at Rythmia.
Here is another video for you to watch where I talk about the power of intention and gratitude.
So where am I now and what are my plans next? Well… someone from an Iboga (plant medicine) retreat contacted me and invited to his retreat. So I will be there in December this year. And if you remember me talking about Nadja my friend who channelled Mother Ayahuasca to give me a message? We ll she called me from Rythmia recently as she was there on another healing journey and told me she had another message from Ayahuasca – the message was that Iboga is waiting for me. Ayhuasca is the mother and Iboga is the father so I feel like to really get rid of my bad habits and heal myself I need some tough love from Iboga.
I will also be returning to Rythmia with my girlfriend some point soon and then next January I will be visiting an exclusive more intimate Ayahuasca retreat for a really personal deep healing. During all these retreats I will be accompanied by my cameraman and it will all be going into a documentary where I will be filming my self as intimately as possible to really help give others a real insight into this amazing healing journey I am on and hopefully it will inspire everyone who watches it around the world to embark on their own healing journey.
As for me I have never been happier or healthier. I am very motivated and focused on myself and my business. I will be launching a new podcast soon so watch this space and please if any of you reading want to reach out to me you can follow me on Instagram @ConsciousKash
Writing this has been a much needed therapeutic journey for me so thank you for reading. I am eternally grateful to everyone for all the love and lessons they teach me and I sincerely believe that we are all on this journey together as a collective.
With Love, Kash Khan Creator of EducateInspireChange.
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