“She remembered who she was and the game.”
– Lalah Diliah
First of all, I know it’s not natural to feel accomplished or to give yourself the benefit of the doubt. It’s a process.
You must know that you are special though? Everyone is. You deserve love, success, admiration, recognition, attention… the things we all secretly want but are too afraid to admit!
Giving yourself the chance to acquire and believe you deserve these things doesn’t mean you are self absorbed. It just means you are a normal person, who wants normal things, like everyone else.
This process can be very long and frustrating. So here are some ways to remind yourself that you are amazing until you get there:
Feel the energy
Allow yourself to be open to feeling. It is the most powerful tool we have as humans, the ability to feel a connection or energy from another person. Some feelings you can’t even begin to describe as it is way beyond our vocabulary. Realise when you have internalised other people’s behaviour and separate it from your own. Come outside of yourself and don’t become your own worst enemy by accepting others projections. Use the positive energy in your life, but more importantly, BE the positive energy in your life!
This doesn’t make you weird or crazy. It’s the most normal and healthy process in the world. Inward reflection gives you the space you need to really see yourself. It allows you to establish coping mechanisms, and makes you aware of the ones which you lack. Try not to think of it as isolation, as you would not be able to do all of this thinking and learning about yourself if you were around others 24/7. It’s also the best way to discover what your boundaries are and inadvertently how to push them.
As much as we have all wanted to be someone else at one point, we can’t. You can only emulate, you can never actually be anyone else, which is probably one of the only certainties in life. Would it really be worth it anyway? The dedication and energy you put into trying to ‘fix’ things about yourself, would it not be easier to just learn to accept yourself as you already are? You were made this way for a reason. You are already amazing, and there isn’t anything you need to change.
“Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.”
– Oscar Wilde
Don’t be too harsh
Life is going to throw you curveballs, but it only gives you as much as you can handle. Plus you are a lot stronger than you might think. Allow yourself to go at your OWN pace, and don’t compare yourself to others. If you need to compete with someone along the way, compete with yourself. Just when you think you know something life comes along and shows you that there is more. Awareness is the first step in overcoming any life challenge, and the only way you can really overcome something is if you believe you can. Remember – you are still learning! Everyone is.
Reassess your practises all the time! Challenge your thought processes and beliefs. Does everything still resonate with who you are in this present moment? If not, get rid of everything negative and anything you feel is holding you back. Are you showing yourself the love you truly deserve? Are you surrounding yourself with people who respect and care for you, and make you a priority in their life? Does your habits reflect your passions? It’s not about adding a million things to your character to find yourself, it’s about stripping it all away so that you can be your authentic self.
Written by Abbey Stirling
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