No matter how hard we try to stay true to ourselves, at some point in life, other people’s opinions start molding our own opinions and the way we see ourselves. This can be extremely stressful, as it makes us create pressure that it not even there, in order for us to appear acceptable and please other people’s expectations. Moreover, this can be harmful to one’s mental health, especially, as one might question their worth, the value in the society and disregard themselves in the long run completely. In the day and age of social media and 24/7 exposure due to lack of privacy, we can’t help but turn to other people for their opinions of us; the Instagram comments, random comments in the street from a stranger or our friends and family; we are surrounded by constant judgments and close observation of our appearance and deeds.
To please others, we are ready to make big life decisions based on their opinions, which in turn can make us completely unhappy. Many people don’t realize that it’s them who they have to please, so in case you’re one of them, this is the right place for you. In this article, we’re about to present some ways in which you can stop caring about what other people say and think of you, and finally improve your self-esteem and life as a whole. But, before we dive in, make sure to hop over to check out a professional speech writing service in case you also need some help with performing in front of the audience.
Feedback With Context
Sometimes people may make an observation or create an opinion based on something you did, say or wore, but it doesn’t necessarily have to have a negative connotation. It is essential to differentiate between a negative remark and a genuine recommendation or advice. Therefore, every feedback you get, you need to take it with context from others. According to Gary Vaynerchuk, the best way to receive feedback is to understand where the input is coming from in the first place. The agenda and intent behind a comment are significant in regards to the way you form an opinion about other people, and yourself as well.
If the feedback or random comments are there with good intention, the only thing you can do if have empathy to what others have to say. The reason for that is the fact that not everyone knows everything about you, your story and background. Listen to them, but never take their comments to heart. People always feel the need to preach, moralize other people’s behavior or merely criticize someone’s work, skills, appearance, etc. However, you can rise above that and simply take everything with a grain of salt. Feedback with context is the first step to not only stop caring but also to becoming a better person.
I have this theory that if you judge yourself too much, you will also attract the judgment of others. A certain level of self-judgment can actually be useful and help you figure out what kind of person you are or want to be. However, if the main negative voice in your life is actually your own, chances are other people might sense it and take advantage of it. Sometimes, whatever we do or achieve is not enough, and we tend to consider ourselves as ‘underachievers’ even though we are pretty successful. Such a mindset is not healthy, and one needs to simply realize that we need to be our own biggest fans, instead of joining other people who can’t wait to throw their critiques and opinions at us.
No One Actually Cares
There are times when we consider ourselves to be unique, but the truth is, we aren’t really that special. Because other people judge us, we might think that people spend a lot of time thinking about us, finding ways to hurt us with their opinions, etc. However, it is the complete opposite. In this day and age when thousands of new post appear on our social media, people notice us for a brief moment, and in that brief moment, they form an opinion based on nothing. According to a study, conducted by the National Science Foundation, people have on average 50,000 plus thoughts in a day, and we may just be one of them. Even if someone thought of us ten times in a day, it would still make 0.02% of their daily thoughts.
Therefore, in order to stop caring about other people’s opinions, it is essential to stop thinking that we are the center of other people’s lives, and start becoming the center of our own life. Other people don’t really care about us; all they care about is being heard and receiving attention for having an ‘opinion’; you, in that case, are just a subject of the opinion, nothing more or nothing less.
According to The Law Of Attraction, if you continuously apologize to other people, chances are you have low self-esteem, and you care too much about what they have to say. This is also really easy for other people to notice about you, and again, take advantage of it. Of course, if you’ve done something wrong, surely you’re going to worry about it and actually apologize; it is just a cultured thing to do and shows other people that you respect them.
However, you should never apologize to people for being who you are. Just because you like wearing colorful clothes, obnoxious hats, you laugh a little louder than others, or you have some quirky personality traits, doesn’t mean you have to stop being you just to please others. None of these things are real causes for an apology, so the next time you notice you’re saying ‘sorry’ too much, make sure to remember that it’s you that you have to apologize to for being unaccepting and letting other people have power over who you are.