“I believe that sexual energy is God conscious creativity energy, but it’s so distorted. We come from the alchemy of sexual energy. We are born from nothing, essentially, from a microscopic tadpole and an egg, and then these vessels grow and emerge and develop consciousness and self awareness and emotions and experiences, but we come from that energy.
So when we learn to work with that energy, we are learning to tap into universal consciousness; we’re tapping into creative life force energy, we’re tapping into the energy that exists to create and manifest anything, but if we’re going to create and manifest anything and we’re doing it through our distorted lens of that energy, and distorted beliefs of that energy, then what we create is going to carry that distortion.
As you do the work on yourself, as you come into your purpose, as you come into your self actualization and self realization and self mastery, your frequency is going to shift and that will be felt in everything that you carry out.” —Matthew Ayriss
Matthew Ayriss is a sacred sexuality guide, shamanic-somatic healer, transformational life coach, and conscious content creator. His work centers around supporting men in understanding their roles to break free from traumatic patterns, social conditioning, and step into divine masculinity. In this raw and honest episode, Kash and Matthew both discuss instances they have experienced in their lives when it comes to intimacy, sex, and distorted views on masculinity.
A “Normal” Upbringing
To become the guide and healer he is today, Matthew had to overcome social conditioning that gave him an unclear view of what it meant to be a man. Under the guise of a “normal” upbringing, it is clear that he was not the only one going through this. Examples range across individual experiences. In Matthews experience, he grew up in what seemed to be a good upbringing. It wasn’t until he began to get bullied by other boys at school which Matthew describes, “built a deep distrust in men. He also felt this internal struggle to attract both women and friends.
This began a pattern where Matthew would seek comfort in his romantic partners. However, this internal imbalance was only magnified when he noticed himself disconnecting from a relationship in an affair.
The journey was filled with painful moments that ultimately led to Matthew’s masculine liberation where he could be of service to others.
Unlocking Energy Channels: The Evolution of a ‘Fight or Fuck’ Mentality
“I actually believe that being in touch with your… the sensitivity, vulnerability, that is an essence of the purest masculine,” Matthew reminds.
This is a divine masculine aspect that more often than not gets overlooked. From a societal perspective, we can look from personal experiences as well as stories pushed by advertisements of what it means to be a man whether it be having the nice sports car and a woman by your side.
Matthew mentions how this “fight or fuck” mentality gives off the wrong impression which keeps men in a traumatic loop.
The Tricky Impacts of Enmeshment
“Enmeshment is when a child essentially becomes, on some level, a surrogate partner for their parent,” Matthew shares. In the examples he provides, this can look like emotional support, holding space, and being energetically available.
Earlier in the conversation, Kash shared some personal experiences growing up that have now been coming up in his current relationship with his partner. After listening deeply, Matthew shares some insights pertaining to Kash’s upbringing and relationship with his mother.
The tips Matthew offers are accessible for anyone to do and require holding oneself accountable.
- Invest in yourself. Whether it be in a therapist, life coach, or group offering, Matthew claims self-investment as one of the best things someone could do for himself. In his journey, Matthew admits working with another person is something he continues to do.
- Ritual Work. Matthew mentions mirror work as a potent ritual in seeing into the self fully. Some ways to practice mirror work include affirmations, eye gazing, and self touch. For those who might feel uncomfortable with this practice, Matthew offers additional tips in the episode.
“Let her surrender into your masculine essence that’s anchored into this essence not because you feel lack…” Matthew shares in response to Kash’s earlier question as a form of the divine masculine embodied.
When we are aware of our patterns and past trauma, Matthew suggests, we receive the opportunity to change it. We must remember it is up to our will to bring forth the change in our habits and daily practices to bring healing into fruition.
Watch the full episode below to learn more about Kash’s story, mirror work tips and details, tribe and accountability, and Matthew’s range of services for those who feel called to reclaim their divine masculine and sexual energy.
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